I'm think I may have given your ex's number to a convicted sex offender.
Win!
We'll cross that bridge when we come to it... Or burn it. Either way we'll deal with it later
she just threw a smoke bomb in an elevator and ran down 9 flights of stairs to see it at the bottom.
I cant do that to my vagina yet. its my prize posession.
If you could come over after class and poke me with a stick to see if im still alive id really appreciate it
theres chocolate ground into my couch, nerds candy all over the floor and cocaine on every surface. great memorial day weekend and yours?
Do you know of any good hiding spots in the Atlanta area?
You kept going up to guys in plaid and screaming "are you a lumberjack" in their faces
Just got into a fight with a trashcan, today is obviously not going to be my day.
I think i should wear mittens next time we have sex.
Lusting after Beyonce when you're a lesbian is like having a crush on Jesus. You just don't do it.
I made out with about ten people last night. And four of them were just on the way to my car from the bar. And one was my roommate.
So....I just took a paddle fan on high speed to the side of the head while getting head...still finished the job, good thing I'm drunk and couldn't feel it.
Riddle me this: How does one check in at the Marriott, but wake up at the W?
Is this making any sense, because I’m puking and trying to be Philosophical right now
Randomize
