he chased her out of the bar yelling "TAKE MY VIRGINITY" and i havent seen her since
So... 5th graders can't whisper for shit, but apparently I have an awesome rack.
Haha. Niice.
Yeah, I didn't know whether to be shocked or flattered.
both.
Alcoholism comes in two forms... Us.
Hey, 'thunder cock' as proud as I am for you getting laid, could you put a muzzle on her? I have to be up at 5, thanks.
Can you send me a picture of you not naked, my mom wants to see what you look like
He led me to his room and handed me the remote, he left to go take a shower and there is a group of guys across the hall just staring at me... Its like they know something i dont. Help me.
I just threw up again because I opened my eyes... God is laughing. I resorted to taking the Mexican Dramamine because I feel seasick from walking. Not helping.
She had a glow in the dark pastie on her forehead the last time I saw her. That should help you find her.
I'm sad that I feel like I need to temporarily change your name in my phone from Smashley until you have the baby and can be unsober with us again.
Can we just talk about the fact that the last time I got laid I was wearing a Jurassic Park tshirt?
Other than unclothed paranormal encounters, how has your day been
Any sexual interaction is meaningless without pizza during half time.
he asked me where I was going to school, and then we started having sex, and I answered his question forty five minutes later after we were done. It was the chilliest thing ever.
I just said "I love my cat" as a hobby.
Your Vodka Saturday privileges have been reduced to Beer until you go a full month without losing an article of clothing.
Randomize
