Someone told me they could tell we were from cincinnati because we say "as fuck" after adjectives
sometimes I think that if I just met him. he would have a crazy realization and fall madly in love with me. what do you say? I'm not just another fan.
i forgot what you looked like. so we left to get pizza. sorry
Her problem is just that he inner beauty is just as ugly as her physical beauty
we hotboxed my bathroom. with nine people and two dogs.
at which point he tried to give himself a prince albert piercing with the stapler on his desk.
I was tripping so hard I was disappointed when I pulled back the shower curtain and shrek wasn't standing there
I found a bag of weed while packing. Now packing is like creating tiny universes inside of boxes.
I wish i could just live off of margaritas and good sex.
You've fucked so many I should get a word bank when you make me guess these things.
dude, im taking a shit and i just realized it's his MOM in the shower not him...oh fuck
I found a video of us drunkenly yelling "we wanna be the Pope" as we passed around the blunt
Recliner chair sex has moments of worry....just don't.
I think I was just motorboated by a 4-year old girl.
Seeing her tonight. She doesn't want dinner, just wants me to come over for awhile. My penis just sent me a thank you card.
Randomize
