so... how was it???
he had bart simpson sheets. he had itunes on shuffle and "don't worry be happy" started playing when he took his boxers off. sad to say i was neither worried nor happy
im glad we only fight about serious things like the hills and disney scene it
I wish they made helmets for livers.
the only bad part about drinking alone is that in the morning there's nobody who can tell you what you did
Sorry I kept grabbing your vagina at the casino. I believed it was my lucky unicorn to win bonuses
Like fighting the continuous urge to sing Neil diamond "coming to America" kinda fucked up right now
He played pinball with my ovaries. He won.
Id fuck him but only at his house and he had to stay im bed till i left. He only works upper body. It just creeps me out how tiny his legs are
I don't think I have face palmed that many times in such a short period. And I've worked tech support.
My mind doesn't wanna day drink but my heart does.
I sit across from him at graduation so I get to stare at him and think about how I fucked his step brother and laugh to myself
I have a bottle of rum in my pocket...what does that say about me...
You come prepared
We blew shit up to. With a cannon.
Here's a rundown of my night alone. Danced my ass off in the kitchen to FleetmacWood. Drank a little bit. Ordered $40 worth of Chinese food once the drinks kicked in. Picked up said Chinese in dirty sweatpants and slippers. #livinglife
Breakfast sounds amazing but can we do IHOP instead? I have to pick up a Plan B pill and there’s a CVS next to it
Randomize
