We did like every position then did it again this morning. Something about him being the little boy i used to make sand castles with just made it way hotter.
well done
you thought your tounge was "malfunctioning" because every time u spoke it wouldnt sit still.
I wasn't interested in him...but then he played The Office theme song on acoustic guitar. I'm sorry.
It's the foolproof way to identify who didn't get laid last night
I've made out with men from every corner of the globe. Sex-wise, I've almost conquered europe. Take that napoleon
Preparing for thanksgiving at home now by chugging bourbon. Less than a month to train!
i think he just broke into a bike shop his last text said something about hiding in some tree
I have no idea what to do about this. He has a power over me and I think its called his tongue.
Life lesson: When you compete in an impromptu "bloody mary chug-off," in the end, no one wins.
I can't believe he let me cut his hair as stoned as I was.. I think I even cut my own hair too
Some nice lady just gave me a beer out of her purse. I love youth hockey
You've never really lived until you tell someone you have an STD over snap chat.
I just said "I love my cat" as a hobby.
It was a recodring of you having sex ! It was like an ape and a dying mongoose at a buffet Xoxoxo
Just think how much she’ll hate me when she finds out I fucked her father
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