Jason just peed on the potty all by himself!!
"omg awesome!, you do realize we aren't together anymore"
He started to lick my mole,thinking it was my nipple.
it was worse than that time i tried giving evan head 4 days post nose job.
you took a scissor and started screaming "I WANNA KNOW WHAT ITS LIKE TO BE BALD"
I just got three quarters of the way there before I realized I was way too stoned for class so I bought a smoothie and walked home.
are any of them hardcore sluts...just absolute worthless human beings? if not the paper wins
I imagine anything that isn't a dilldo attached to a jackhammer, powered by a generator won't be amazing enough for you
I tried to tell him I love him but it came out something like "We're both fucked up and it works."
I swear there's a gravitational pull from your vagina to large groups of men in uniform.
Oh thank Jesus fuck for my shitty infertile womb. Crisis averted
The cop was yelling at you as you layed on the sidewalk and you wouldn't take him seriously cause you thought it was some dude in a cop costume.
I need vodka mixed w a bit of holy water right now
"We drove to the deserted part of the parking lot, and that's where we blew each other. It was so romantic."
Your penis is the destroyer of worlds.
Sorry for prompting a philosophical penis discussion at 10:45 on a Friday night.
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