did you hook up austin?
No! he threw up in my bathroom, made me wake up and order him jimmy johns, beat my roommate with a macaroni and cheese box, and then passed out with her in her bed
Well listen chief - never again do i want the scenario of going to the ER totally naked and partially drunk to b a possibility.
Apparently I masturbate in my sleep now.
and before you know it i was laying next to him at 2 in the morning with penis and sadness on my breath.
found used condoms and an omlet in my uggs. I'm disgusted but not surprised.
it was either a really good one night stand or a really really good first date. thank you online dating
Yea, remember to blow out the fire from flaming shots. Unless you want burnt lips. Just saying, I'm an example of ignorance and intoxication.
Just hooked up with the fireman who put out the quesadilla fiasco last tuesday.
this year we will have multiple halloween identities. lesbian couple meets brian and stewie
gorilla chasing a banana on crotch rockets. Halloween is getting way too real
These welts and bruises from letting gay boys whip my thighs last night are a clear indication i should lay off the tequila.
how do you expect me to pass the time when I'm too old to be jailbait but too young to legally drink
Going through Bojangles drive thru chanting "KFC" hammered at 8:00 was the highlight.
I just found my lube on the ground next to my bed. I would pay money to find out what the fuck happened that night.
Can I get high for this class every tuesday? Its like a multi-sensory carnival acid trip.
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