I sharted during my first quiz and I couldn't leave, I went ahead and took the rest of the day off.
i crushed up some extenze and put them in his protein powder - should make for an interesting gym experience
you didnt know i had herpes?
I can't leave. She doesn't trust me and my penis being out in the world without supervision.
"But puppies!" Is not an acceptable excuse for trying to drunkenly steal someone's dog, you promiscuous midget!!
God I miss you. I want to fuck your face... Then do all the girly cuddly shit too.
wearing my old cheerleader outfit to the bar was a great way to get free drinks. i should do this more often
Do you have pictures of my pancakes
I need to show the world
They are the pancake equivalent of eventual wife
Is there a classy way to tell him that to thank him for his service I would like to put his dick in my mouth?
"Happy Veterans Day! Now pull down your pants."
YOU BETTER TOUCH MY NIPPLES TODAY
She tried doing a backflip and ended up doing somersaults down the entire stair case.
You kept yelling stranger danger at Nick because he was talking to that girl you didn't like. Your not invited ever again.
I've decided I will have no shame for the things I don't remember doing.
He in a way got kinda cockblocked by Jesus
He thought reverse cowgirl meant he dressed up as a cowgirl. Honestly, it was more creepy than funny
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