oh, also, we're locked out of the house and we're going to have to take shelter with the hot, poss single, dad next door. i hope this turns into a porno
Have you ever noticed that nowhere is the same thing as now here, i get my best ideas when i smoke
hey, we don't wanna leave the house because we're watching fireworks on tv. this is america.
im a genious. moved my bed and mirror so i can watch the game while Fucking
I just realized this is gonna be the last time that I'm high in my childhood home. I'm kinda sad. I'm really high..
All signs point to mom being high. 1) making chicken at 2 am. 2) dancing to smooth jazz. 3) she asked where the peanut butter was
Just got an email from TMobile. Said they were going to pursue "more qualified" candidates. So this is what rock bottom feels like.
I'm that hungover student in class ... On a wednesday morning
Omg I think I'm in the wrong class
So glad I decided to show up and puke in your trashcan.
These are the moments that bond souls forever.
I'm so glad we both made out with him though. I feel like that really brought us together
Wait, tell the rest at happy hour. I wanna be able to interrupt you with my loud cackles and stupid questions.
I just had to remind myself that I'm visible in real life. Sitting in the car in a parking lot, and almost took my shirt off because the tag is itchy and I wanted it off... and you know I don't wear bras...
I think it's time to give up this life and become vikings. You in?
Is she still on a quest to lick every stranger that enters the bar, or have the restraining orders reached critical mass?
The waxing lady fingered me during my brazilian. 40 dollars well spent
Randomize
