This random guy asked me if I had downs. I was like up yours! And I got out of his car.
mrs. f**** your sons in jail, if you can help with bail please respond, if not please dont tell him i told you.
I don't even know how sober sex starts anymore
I wish I could get plan B off e-bay so it would be a secret and cheap.
I don't want to smoke with her when she's on adderall. She carved her pumpkin for four hours & didn't say a word.
Also, hurry up because I don't like drinking alone. I'm still doing it, but I don't like it.
This coke is making my nose hairs dance. That good.
soon, soon....
I don't believe you anymore. You're like the boy who cried coitus.....
I'm starting to think I didn't bring enough liquor for this family Christmas.
It's 2 pm....
This may have to wait till tomorrow. I smoked so my back wouldn't hurt and I overshot relaxed by like 4 hits casually
Just so you know the unusual amount of skittles on your floor is entirely your own fault. You bought me 20 bags of them while I was high.
I tried to twerk on a barn in 3 inch heels at a party last night and nose dived into mud. These were all new friends. I'm probably not allowed back. Cool.
Why is your solution always to masturbate
Because it usually works
The irony of the fact that I'm going to be starting my period on Thanksgiving. Something to truly be thankful for.
Apparently when you start crushing adderall and blending them into your margaritas calling them blenderalls you have "a problem" WTF
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