he peed everywhere. it's like having a puppy.
Whatever is fine with me, as long as I am dressed in green and end up shitfaced.
Pass out mid-funnel last night.
dude all my bootycalls are going to Eclipse tonight... Do I really want it that bad?
He asked me to grab his balls and yell "thats a spicy meat-a-ball" Last time I do requests.
I like yr title more along "the hot Russian I have sex with."
I cant. There's fences everywhere and I think I have a boyfriend. Its fabulous.
Haha, apparently they frown upon male strippers there. Bouncers couldn't catch me tho.
Tommorow.Eggs Benedict and surprise blowjob day
The dorm caught on fire so it turned into a 5am pool party
I tried to find the bar, ended up at a car dealership. Then the alarms went off.
After much deliberatipn and vodka, my favourite phrase of Christmas 2012 is "penis of last resort"
I don't know if I want context or not...
Context involves faux incest and champagne. Id go into detail but im on shot number 5.
i am laugh crying so hard the guy next door stopped playing guitar
Listen all I know is that mistakes were made and she stole the car and drove half an hour for food at 4 am
dude im trying to eat his ass so can you stop for 10 minutes
Randomize
