Yeah I'm pretty sure at one point I was telling her to keep her dick in her pants. She was going to do some serious damage.
similar to the time we made up the game of screaming at the top of our lungs any time a guy any of us slept with walked into the party. that went over SO well.
You were so drunk last night you typed www.face.come/cheese.com as if you were logging into facebook.
Well for one thing, she was eating rice with a shot glass.
i failed horribly. studying for that final was as pointless as Vinnie is to Jersey Shore
Internet sex stories have completely ruined the word sopping for me.
i love all of you. Physical. Emotional. Mental. All of it. When we speak i feel like a feather or a dragon depending on the conversation ...
Some Russian dude just came up to us and I'm pretty sure he offered his girlfriend to have sex for 80 bucks. Whoever said porn movies were unrealistic.
I woke wondering who the hell was in my bed. Then i felt boobs and remembered Haha. Thirsty Thursday killed my liver and my homosexuality
You also once spent an entire hour explaining the origin of the strip steak to me.
I got his number because he was "impressed with how much I could handle"...I was chasing shots with Olive Garden breadsticks...
I haven't seen her in probably 3 months and when she showed up wasted to my house she promptly pulled out her tit
According to my snapchat story, I tore a fake wig off a security guard and ran away with it.
We're lying on the pavement outside of the college. No one has asked if we're okay. I think they all understand.
I'm at the store buying a new phone cause I pissed all over mine last night. Drunk me is expensive as shit.
Randomize
