maybe you should take the dick out of your mouth before you start talking.
i did. i'm using it as a microphone.
Granted, we were all high and wasted, but the fact that she thought we couldn't see her making out with the charles in charge lookalike bc she was holding up a pillow in front of them is a little ridiculous
Did he look more like 80s Charles in Charge or the old one that had that VH1 show? It makes a difference.
kill, fuck, marry: alice cullen, hermione granger, ginny weasley.
damn... fuck alice for sure, I feel bad but i think I have to say marry ginny... and kill hermoine! I can't believe I'm answering this right now.
i slept with him so i could steal the screens out of his sink faucets for my bowl when he went to sleep. not because he's funny.
dude. this chick is staring at me like i gave her brother herpes.
This guy in a neck brace is ordering bottle service at the strip club. Not sure whether to applaud his commitment or scorn his addiction. It's a draw.
He broke hus nose arm jousting with the traffic cones... We need to make head shots illegal or get helmets or something
I finally fell asleep and like an hour later he wakes me up and says "I've always to be woken up w a blowjob." Um, that's not how it works asshole.
If it meant we had chicks like that every weekend I would gay marry the shit out of you dude
You should come by for the fire station blow job tour
He said "you speak American pretty good for a Canadian" and it took everything in me to still fuck him. Dry spell ended btw
Just Peed in a cup for my country. Fighting the good fight.
I'm so bored I talked to the Bible guys for 30 minutes.
I offered them beer last time they came here bahaha
Apparently I handcuffed myself to the dishwasher...
She blew me while I watched the jets game and the hardest thing was deciding what to focus on more
Randomize
