would you consider dating someone with braces an investment?
just so you know, the whole club saw your tits last night. and booed.
so the car was packed with everything from my dorm, plus my mom. during the 6 hour trip home she found my kama sutra. started flippin through it.....
oh shit that had to have been awkward
i thought so too. until she asked what the check marks were for
hahahahahahhahahahaha. 26, Dominican, has a funny accent, thinks I'm hot. Tots boning.
mike has just informed me of all the things he would put in his pussy if he was a woman. this includes door stops, power drills & g.i. joes.
"and then my dad would be all like 'hey mike, where's the remote?'"
look what he's done to me, i actually want to be a stripper now.
I found her under my bed eating airplane pretzels.
Call me when you get off. I have stories about black lesbians in jail begging to braid my hair...
I was drunk for 3 days straight...well wasted for 3 days with periods of "just drunk" inbetween
Yeah I mean once a gun is being waved around, its probably a good time to leave the party
But the music was sooo good
now that we broke up we are playing hot potato with the cock ring.. Poor thing just needs a home
MY HISTORY TEACHER IS FUCKING MY MOTHER. I am downstairs and i can hear the squeak of the bedsprings please I swear to god pick me up THIS INSTANT.
I wish I could open myself up and check on my liver. Make sure it's hanging on. Ya know?
In my life time, I want nothing more than to get a blow job while watching Space Jam.
may or may not have snorted a line of tums... wtf.
Randomize
