dude, the reading rainbow guy was just talking to a HOLOGRAM
Are you sure you're not watching Star Trek?
wait... oh
My dad just told me he used to masturbate to cat woman...he then proceeded to beat my brother in beer pong and wont let me play...
apparently i peed in my fridge last night because my vegetable drawer was filled with it.
I just had someone call me out on a walk of shame via megaphone
Just saw a girl trying to crack an egg with her butt cheeks. I think I know what we're doing thursday night.
and that's why he's hiding in the taco suit
Why were you having sex on top of my left over pizza in the kitchen?
Well if my looks don't work with her I'll eat the 50 nuggets to impress her fat roommate.
Getting drunk before noon on a Tuesday. When did this become my life? Did you know that a six-pack of Smirnoff is 2 liters?
Whenever I'm not in the mood and don't want to go to bed swampy, I just strategically suck him off during the second period intermission of the Cup playoffs and he leaves me alone and does the dishes. It's a win-win.
After my lunch today, I've got $10 till Sunday night. I am losing at life.
If we try hard enough and believe in ourselves, we can still make it to Wendy's before they close
Is there a lightning bolt coming out of your boner right now?!
he said he was going to fuck me like a rabbit in heat. What he should have said was faster then a train and over before a commercial
I think people are normalizing furries
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