is it bad that the cashier at chick-fil-a shouted "see you tomorrow!" as i drove away?
we went back to her place to bone only to find her boyfriend having sex.. with MY girlfriend
How do I put "special brownies" into Weight Watchers?
Btw sorry for throwing that bag of ice at your face lastnight....
Ok just don't go to jail. I saw your account balance. It can't take that.
Ummmmm okay let's be incredibly straightforward. Hi there. My bed's at half capacity this evening. How'd you like to fill it up?
I feel like death gave me a hand job
Someone was asleep on the couch next to us and woke up. We paused and he yelled "gentlemen, behold! Sex!"
This is love.
Which part? The alcoholic cupcakes or the lesbian st paddys day party?
Ummmm you know you're drinking vodka out of a Skittles bag, right?
My mom just made me promise her that i'll care about the next guy I sleep with
My only contacts are booty calls or the club hockey team.
HIS DICK IS SO AWESOME DUDE. 15/10 SURPRISE
THERES A BEAVER CHASING ME, ANGRY BEAVERS IS FUCKING REAL DUDE
How can i make it up 2 u?
DREW I AM SMOKING POT AND FUCKING. WE CANNOT DISCUSS THIS AT THIS PARTICULAR JUNCTURE.
Randomize
