dude, i think i am in a porno. I was working out at the hotel gym and some chick was doing yoga and a guy comes up and says "good, now i know your flexible" then they started making out. WTF?
Asian chick on skype stripping for me. Hold on give few min
I woke up and she had washed, dried, folded my clothes, cooked me breakfast, and had started cleaning my room
haha, you sure you didnt fuck your mom?
By connection do you mean me drunkenly grinding my ass on his lap for an extended period of time? If so, then yes, we had a "connection"
I'm like 99% sure I made out with Kevin Spacey last night. Not good.
you will always have a special place in my vag
Why do I feel like I'm not the only one drinking to make my night class teacher look better?
& he told me 'I don't think ur a big slut-just kind of an average slut'
HE THINKS THATS A COMPLIMENT!!!!!
I just banged two guys while dressed like an angel. I love this holiday.
I have a broken liver
I see that the whole "let's take a break from drinking" has worked out really well for us.
I dont know but I had two different hospital bands and half a pie when i woke up.
These welts and bruises from letting gay boys whip my thighs last night are a clear indication i should lay off the tequila.
Sorry for all the snapchats, I wanted you to feel like u were in America getting plastered with me
He went down on me for an hour and a half. He needs to get promoted more often.
You almost got us killed.
YOU’RE WELCOME FOR NAVIGATING YOU TO A ONCE IN A LIFETIME EXPERIENCE.
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