I am pretty sure he just licked my hand while trying to sing goo goo dolls iris to me. Get me out of this state.
Would you rather have a 10 inch but pencil thin penis or a 2 inch very fat one?
Fat, it's not about touching the bottom it's about raising hell of the sides.
I never doubt that you might be drinking at any moment.
Just remembered to take my BC at the liquor store. Just swallowed it with a free sample of Whiskey.
you spent the night getting lap dances from a stripper with a c-section scar then ended up at a one room casino by the airport and you say you're too good to blaze and see pirahna 3d? bullshit
You were spitting chewed up pretzle into my hands telling me to hold it for you.
OH BABY IM HERE AND IN A BLANKET FORT
COME TO THE BLANKET FORT
You sucked a guys dick who's name was Chad and that wasn't a sign that it was a bad idea?!
It's accurate though. I am legitimately passionate about pickles. I crave pickles the same way I crave sex. It is a deep rooted animalistic need
I mean honestly, what would you have done?
Not screw her in the church house?
HOW DO YOU FORGET TO FINISH WINE
I still hate everything and everyone around me. Krampus taught me nothing.
not sure if actually covered in glitter or just drunk
Looking back, we probably shouldn't have chased alcohol with more alcohol
Totes just ripped ass and the bartender's eyes got wet
Randomize
