I just made what I can safely estimate to be a 900 calorie pb&j. Fuck a serving size.
So I'm at planned parenthood and there are 5 people here from Friday's party.
dude, i think we just came across a situation where tits weren't worth it.
Seeing a catheter being inserted into a penis severely diminished my sex life
Lost gin update. Blackout me found and re-hid the bottle. Left a note to myself saying, "GOOD LUCK, SUCKER!"
If we see one freshman that cummed on me, we are leaving.
I'm getting shit face wasted, and I have to be up so early tomorrow. I am bad at smart.
He peed in the bird bath. Those birds are gonna be pissed
He slapped my ass and his clap-on light turned on.
Made out with a mannequin all morning in cpr training, so im ready to party
he said he was going grocery shopping but when he came back all he had was a jumbo bag of pancake mix and case of beer.
the essentials, lol
I don't know, I think it's at least a minor achievement when you can light up with the guy who took your virginity and act like you didn't have and incredibly awkward sexual experience together
So I don't know, I'm not a doctor, but I might be juggling dates with 3 different guys...
He kept squeezing my butt and telling me how smart I was
Everyday this week I have woken up to a different dick pic. It's like a dick pic a day calendar!
Randomize
