matts gf stood and watched my naked ass gather my clothes off his floor this morning. sweet.
OK, the bar's closing. Do I go to home to my wife or my girlfriend?
Just remember that she is a giant dick-sucking forehead and you are better than that.
So how many licks to the face does it take to get kicked out of the bar?
Well... this vagina won't eat itself
I just puked in my non fat yogurt... But it's non fat in hopes that someone wants to eat my vagina
He turned down jacuzzi sex. He cares more about my vagina than i do.
I want Samuel L. Jackson to stand beside me and narrate my morning shits.
The "don't have sex with him again" alerts you set on my phone just started going off.
Good. "Seriously, don't do it" should start in about five minutes.
and then you two started interpretive dancing to Mozart
Sorry I pissed in your closet and lied to your parents that it was probably a flood. He got up to go to the bathroom, expecting sex when he got back, I panicked
Man I was just the closest I've ever been to crapping my pants.
Why is there a whip in the kitchen?
Pornhub is actually a very wholesome website
I frew up on some kids lovely sidealk chald drawings..
when i saw him today i think my vagina did the equivalent of a stomach growl... its been to long
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