I am really glad that on the inside of a card from your grandparents you have transcribed the rules for circle of death
It's one of the reasons i'm here, along with emotional support, physical support if you need it, and power orgasms.
you can add "aspirated seaman" to the list of things your sister has been admitted to the hospital for
would really like to know how the teddy bear got super glued to my testicles.
Just come back with most of your limbs...and your dick. Please and thank you
My vagina and my morals are playing tug of war
You shouted "FUCK SHANIA TWAIN" and then downed an Aquafina bottle of white wine none of us knew how to react
I decided staying home, watching porn and masterbating was a much better choice than the gym. And I was right.
I'm not going to say what I did. You're smart enough to figure it out. But I did it. And you owe me 20$
what i'd really like is a nice helping of naked boyfriend with a side of naked boyfriend.
Nick's drunk off his ass and Kyle just Texted me and all he said was "butt pirates from space".
Sorry you felt insulted last night let me rub your butt in remorse
My friend asked me if I got home okay and I replied "Glad teat. Goodnight." Usually I can translate drunk me, but I'm even lost on that one.
I passed out in my bed, but woke up on the dog bed,with no pants, snuggling with toilet paper and a bottle of softsoap. Ive hit a new low.
I'm at the fucking ritz Carlton and I would leave here to cuddle with her. Not even fuck, just cuddle. What th hell is wrong with me?
I think it's called love, bro
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