i cant finish this easy-mac because i need it for a chaser.
Im forcing mysellf to pee so i can fit more margaritas in me...
I mean can we take a second to high five on our sex life? I love us.
I was just referred to as 'the margarita slut' by an 11 year old.
You do realize that you're sleeping with a man who is part of a gay harem, right?
So help me Jesus we're never drinking together again. But weekends don't count. Amen.
Ladies, we have an appointment at David's Bridal aurora this coming Sunday at 3pm. And an appointment at where ever tequila is served at noon.
Nope. Daytime is texting time. Night time is you send me naked pictures time.
I've actually, minus lsat night have actually changed my drinking habits
He talked to you for like two seconds while you were shit faced doing Forest Gump impressions...how is that possible?
She had YOLO tattooed on her ass. Like, one cheek said YO, the other said LO. Even I can't handle that level of hot mess.
But I aced my quizzes. Apparently flash card beer pong is an acceptable form of studying.
I'm sitting on the floor singing Bruno mars while they cook and occasionally pet me
Don't blame me. My vagina leads me astray.
I love the barter system - he got laid and I got him to bring me some ibuprofen. A win-win really.
Randomize
