Do I give off a "I have a sex tape" vibe???
I just smoked a bowl while riding a horse. This has been a productive vacation.
this one can actually spell my name, that's a shoe-in
If we have to be apart I understand. Being separated is probably best for our relationship now. I look forward to our booty calls.
this islike a room full of reasons why i should be in prison
hes like my own personal sex toy i use him on the weekends and then i have the option to put him away all week
My face feels like its stuck between a ball sack and an asshole.
I think my vagina is phsycic. All day it tingled and then BAM Channing Tatums look alike fucks me like ive never been fucked in my life.
She asked what it would take for you to fuck her. You drunkenly mumbled, "pepperoni pizza" and then got in the cab by yourself. You were smiling too. It was weird.
my mom tried to talk to me about my drinking, i somehow turned it around on her, now shes going to AA and I'm going to the bar.
Remember that time I hopped home naked from the bar, then tried to convince you I was ok to drive you home? Good call on the taxi.
My vagina needs a break, I had to ice it with a beer bottle last night.
What drinking game we play yesterday? Fight club or something?
You told him he looked like Jesus and that you wanted to fuck his face, I'd say your blind date went well
When a guy asks for your ig but you already know his blood type, social security number, & mother's maiden name.
Randomize
