Jon and Kate are totally playing with my emotions.
i mean i care more about their marriage then my own parents
You know you're true friends when you can talk about what sexual diseases you may or may not have.
he used a semicolon in his bootycall text, of course he's not gonna go down on me.
We had sex on my friends waterbed ..after that the whole school kept asking him if he had fun getting "sea-sick" last night.
she just convinced the cop to buy us ice-cream sandwiches. best/worst stoned experience ever.
I can't believe you're trying to guilt me into a blow j because a tornado made you homeless.
Is it working?
Just cause I'm shitfaced wasted every night waking up in random beds all over Manhattan does not mean I'm a mess.
Truth. Respect the hustle.
It's was about average. But he had a tat on his thigh that said "pull-out n' rollout" so I won't have to worry about a round two request.
It was like getting a handjob from a frost giant
She had her pubic hair down there shaved into the superman s............. Best one night stand ever.
Its like drunk me is Oprah except instead of a car everyone's award is seeing my boobs
Do you know how many guys' fantasies I've been told I'm a part of lately?!
Just 2. But still.
Enjoy the penises
my one night stand just gave me money "to buy a better vibrator" tis the season
That was a beautiful concert to sleep through ...
I know - Don't let me take drugs from strangers anymore
Randomize
