if you're gona send my txt to that site at least change my area code plz
Right on... I dropped my chapstick
I blacked out
Wow, being the totally hot and slutty looking 30 year old lady on the dance floor does NOT necessarily mean that she has skills in bed.
My financial aid advisors would be so pissed if they knew I was spending my loan money on strippers
Do you understand how much easier life would be if fannypacks were normal
Got hit on at a funeral service by cougar. I think I just got Reverse Will Ferrell'd.
he put on The Eye of the Tiger while she was in labor.
sleazy september. first one with mono loses.
Your French couch surfers have just started playing flip cup with old crow. Basically you need to come back here
I am still sore from last night. I can't wait for you to meet my parents.
Tommarow we shall sacrifice the freshmen to the sun god
Welp last night I made out with the guy who slices my deli meat at publix. I'm sure there's a joke there but I'm too hungover to find it. Go noles.
Well I've consulted some psychics but they keep saying all they hear in my head is screaming and all they see in my future is pool noodles and cheese dip?
It's almost like he's actually taking my commentary and criticism to heart, but simultaneously succumbing to some primal urge to wear less clothing each time.
is it bad that there is a girl in my bed right now and the only thing i can think about is the fect that its after 3am which means i cant order jimmyjohns unitll tomorrow?
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