I bet a guy could be masturbating under the table now and people would just think he was clapping along.
I have a running excel spreadsheet detailing the number of shots in a night and subsequent ability to masturbate
Just smoked a bowl with the exterminator. I think my day is more productive.
the sad thing is, im pretty sure she was serious about giving me head for my falafel
He pulled the washer 5 feet out from the wall screaming about quarters
You didn't know it was a gay bar until the 7th guy rejected you. You were crying because you thought it was just a bad night. No more for you.
So we'll go out later for condoms and cake batter... aka grocery shopping for champions.
I know you're my sister, but I'm pretty sure I'm going to have sex with one of your exes this weekend. He's probably not gay, but I'll let you know.
My last 2 google image searches were 'a lot of pudding' followed by 'a generous portion of pudding'
I need a costume
Dude just wear a bra or something hahaha
He called me Kitten either just because or he figured out my old s&m life. Either way huge turn on.
He asked me while we were fishing why the passion was gone when we have sex. It's official...I am the dude in this relationship.
we're forecasting high levels of inebriation into the evening with dropping temperatures late at night
I was trying to decide if i was still high whenever i realized i was pressing the buttons on the microwave cause i liked the sound.
"Uno más" are officially my least favorite words in the entire Spanish language.
Randomize
