You up for the gym tonight after work?
I'm up for a light workout and a nice yog.
Fair enough, I'm gonna hit it hard today.
Chris Brown style, or less felonious?
Haha, all felonious.
So I got my period. Finally. In related news, I reinstated my belief in God.
just saw someone puke all over a michigan fan. he didn't even flinch.
Thanks for stopping me from doing a one man keg stand by myself clad in only a towel. that probably wouldve ended badly.
It's like there's a party and my mouth and everyone's throwing up
she asked me which thongs i though her boyfriend would like best. fuck the friend zone
I'm doing it for my vagina. You should understand that
You screamed for campus security to do something about the police officer who dumping ur 40
Woke up naked on my floor covered in cookies. We should celebrate fake hurricanes every weekend.
They're not that bad of drunks, they come back to the vehicle with more stuff than they went in with, so its a profitable venture.
Sometimes I have to make sure these messages are going to you and I'm not about to give someone in my phone book a heart attack.
I just want to sing to him and rub baby oil on his head
Ugh, I should just give up, and fuck him in a parking lot, and shave my head and walk naked through the streets of King's Landing.
On a scale of one to ten how bad is it that the first cardio I've done in months is jogging to the bars?
I'll just go with dedication.
Well when I woke up this morning I didn’t think I’d be masturbating to my own LinkedIn profile today but here we are
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