high people should be assigned attendants
Dude, I just cut my asshole on the new toilet paper. If you rationed the grocery money to buy drugs, I better be getting some.
handjobs have no place on a baseball diamond
In their defense you were hugging a watermelon for a good portion of the trip
Just a smidgen more estrogen and shed be golden
She's got a legit dose of dude going on
No kidding. All she needs is a cheek full of chewing tobacco and I'd have fucked John wayne.
How was the party last night?
There's a mountain bike in the middle of our apartment. No one will claim it.
I swear with his long flowing hair and god-like body he looked like Jesus, a bong hitting Jesus
My head feels like a nest made of hair and cum
Everyone's impressed that I actually got pee all over his car since I'm a girl and they're a little curious..
honestly i've never been more attracted to you than when you threw up on my floor
U NO SLUT. YOUR HEART IS JUST FREE.
grapes are the best munchies food ever cuz like the juice explodes in my mouth and my mouth gets all relieved of dryness. and the skin of the grape is like the food. and theres so many grapes!
If I ever say "I'm never drinking again" just hand me a bottle of jack. I'll snap out of it.
anything below 65° is too cold to be naked on a roof
I mean she's doing calculus in her head to prove how NOT drunk she is.
Randomize
