She said she never had to courage to go fully shaved. Since when did shaving your snatch become courageous?
And we started making out. She asked me to pick a number between 1 and 10. I said 6. She took me to her room. A few minutes later I wasnt a virgin. DUDE I WAS GOING TO SAY 2.
i'm as serious about my hair as jesse from full house.
that is uncle jesse to you, show some respect.
the more i look through evidence of last night, the less i seem to remember.
Day 8 of being sober: Sniffed an empty beer bottle at a restaurent and almost licked it. This is not working
It all boils down to, who else do we know that is willing to buy our friendship?
I will pee on everything he values.
We left his house because I forgot how to drink water, I was just holding it in my mouth and then spitting it out, needless to say I don't remember the sex.
I asked him to make me two boxes of macaroni and cheese. That's like eight servings. How did I think that was an okay amount.
The look of disappointment from my cat while I take nudes...
They had like literally all the dildos. It looked like a seance for dick. I left the apartment and haven't been back.
To shove my foot up anybody ass who tries to start shit. I'm not takin shit this year. That and I wanna volunteer somewhere to help make a difference
She asked what the dent on the hood of my car was from..i think she knows we had sex up there
You kept saying “keke” over and over so I slapped you then you proceeded to ask if I loved you. In case you’re wondering why you have a black eye - Lauren
I got drunk and bought a house last night. Also, I threw up on Mike's lawn. I'm pretty excited about one of those two things.
Randomize
