Seeya bye Latvian government! Whammy!
I could write a book called "things that come out of my vagina"
Just shaved my legs with toilet water in a walgreens bathroom. I am so classy.
im walking the streets of bville with a bag of cat food..looking for my car. i dont ever want to turn 21 again.
I feel like I just tasted lung cancer.
idk, it started getting weird when they were looking up videos of lesbian giraffes
It's like rock paper scissors. Cold showers and smoking beat hangovers.
It's definitively the wine. Every time I can drink and work I feel like I win at the game of life.
We were sitting outside of the building and he literally just walked up with no pants on. This is the best college ever
She was two things I dont understand: tall and Christian
Question: When you have the names of 4 guys tattoo'd on you, how do you make the 5th one real special?
Would you think less of me if I were eating pizza on the toilet right now?
Did I see you at the bar last night?
Yes. You just kept grabbing my boobs and saying how much better they are than yours...
don't worry, i'll dog sit again, the barking made the sex better, its like he was cheering for us, we were just THAT good.
DID YOU OR DID YOU NOT, PEE IN MY FUCKING TRASHCAN?!
Randomize
