Did he leave or is he still there?
He left right away, I might have passed out. I saw your text and was like who left where? Then the oh shit feeling sunk in, hangover starting now.
$3 wine plus diet sprite does not make good champagne.
does taste better than andre tho
two more shots til everyone in this club gets to see my cesarean scars.
Its a three day weekend with Valentines day thrown in... Im obligated to get drunk
just balanced a champagne glass on my gut. thanks to beer im a living breathing tempur-pedic mattress.
The state of Wisconsin is just irresponsible for letting me buy this many fireworks
Im going home to examine my vagina with a hand mirror. wish me luck.
No no no. When you take one for the team, there are no stipulations or conditions
One of my friends took me out last night for a bday celebration and I just now remembered that a man blew fire balls across the bar in honor of my birthday... How drunk do you have to be to forget that?
You understand the drunkenness of my drunkenness
I think it really helped to be hungover at accepted students day. it gave me a good feel for how it would be everyday if I go there.
Sockward: that moment during sexytimes when you realize your socks are still on and you have no idea how to remove them in a non-awkward fashion.
Question for you. Do you want to go out somewhere or do you want to have sloppy joes at my house? That's not a euphemism for anything; I actually have stuff to make sloppy joes
like don't tell me my baby smooth vag offended you
Its nights like last night that make me want to high five my liver.
Randomize
