is it bad that i have made the decision to never travel to vienna simply because of that transvestite that won the bachelor?
dont start drinking without me
I just got a whiff of tequila through the air conditioner.
I have to keep checking she's breathing. This is why we don't drink on Sundays
It was a karaoke bar combined with a liquor store and had a donkey pen in the back.
Keeping it classy as usual I see
Do you think you're physically and mentally capable of killing me? Because I'd really appreciate it.
Like, what's the customary waiting period to hookup with your newly single ex that you never stopped hooking up with?
The only thing keeping me calm right now is pretending to chop off everyone's heads when using the paper cutter
It's amazing to think about how many Obama victory sex babies are being prevented by Obamacare free contraception.
I see your walk of shame and raise you a day in jail wearing a girls old workout clothes.
Great. Now I have to produce, edit and leak a sex tape before Saturday. Fundraising is hard.
.As long as you're some how patriotic with your sexual escapades, I can support it.
I just sneeze out a chunk of leftover pickle I threw up last night. dont you try and tell me your day is going worse
I am high playing guitar hero naked. Please don't let me die this way
But I thought it was so funny last night
You also thought you were a gypsy mermaid last night
Where do you think your fantastically immense lady-boner for men in uniform comes from?
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