she left her pants. im pretty sure she grabbed mine on accident. im like 9 man sizes bigger than her. wtf
I have no voice and feel like lukewarm beer.
Yea went to the bars and he called me 2 hours later with random people saying he is at a place that i don't think exists
he stopped mid-fuck to ask me how my day was....
I love family holidays its the only time when playing beer pong, and smoking hookah with my family isnt looked down upon
Covered in glitter and dick. 2010 feels a lot like 2009.
He told us that was the only place he could get service when we found him in the closet passed out with a beer
did you dip my ponytail in franzia? its the only thing i can think of to explain my hair right now.
No more scars from drunken holidays, people are starting to notice.
Bc when the owner of your local gay bar and a drag king ask you to take them to a rival gay bar 2hrs away at 4 in the morning YOU GO.
Not sure I just ate a really big pot brownie, I feel like my future is uncertain
So I almost just died there. And we need a new garage door.
I got my period during my acid trip. It was weird.
I put on a face mask and masturbated for an hour... my face now has a green tint
Visiting my great uncle went well. The highlight of the evening was when he said, "Oh my god. I'm 79 and I'm teaching 18 year old kids how to roll a joint."
Randomize
