Instead of a promise ring i got my clit peirced, its a promise that ill always give you ass! =]
Opportunity cost of getting to econ after a night on the town > marginal benefit of attending class
They have a pepper shaker for pot.
So at what point while he was throwing up on the girl next to him did you think "yeah, im going to hit that"
It involved anal and pop rocks. Tell me how that could have ended well.
I may wear a condom to jerk-off tomorrow knowing that my hand has touched surfaces in this bar.
Names, who you're caught in bed with, both minor details
She asked for references to decide whether she wanted to have sex with me. And she was serious.
So last night was the first of "I got cut off before I walked in the bar".
If he doesn't fuck you on the 4th of July, he doesn't really love this country.
He may be 6' 6" but I'm 180 lbs of pure rage and determination
The oven caught fire. I put it out, but called the fire department just to make sure it was okay since the smoke wasn't going away
You just wanted to meet firemen
I'm not complaining, but why is it that every time I hang out with you I come home with random injuries and random girls?
at the time fanning him with a dish tray seemed like a good idea but when we found it buried in the dirt the next morning i questioned our judgement. needless to say he still threw up even with the extra breeze.
Periods are much less exciting when you're not sexually active.
Randomize
