you definitely held a convo with a hobo
we have a secret handshake
Well if I am having twins, at least I'll finally have 2 kids by the same father.
Well technically because of daylight savings, I only lasted 15 mintues.
I'm pretty sure we put the facepaint on during whippets
We found them in a dumpster making out trying to get their privacy
At my wifes high school reunion. Found out her nickname was 'Back Door Brooke'. EVERYONE is calling her that.
Can we make a sex game out of monopoly somehow?
I just fucked her in her boyfriends bathroom... he was in the room sleeping.
Dad says your scarf isnt fooling anyone and u look like a douchebag, its literally the perfect time to tell him your gay
Got to the gym, getting changed, found a jello shot in my shoes.
That's not a current picture, because if you look deep enough into my eyes you can still see morals. Not these days.
I'm gay. Congratulations to whoever had January 2014 in their pool.
The doctor basically called me a dirty dick.
My body looks like ricotta cheese had a vacation
I hate when I wake up and find my vibrator next to me. Such a waste of an orgasm...getting myself off in my sleep and not remembering
Randomize
