Lost. The hour! Funtime!!!!
wanna go halves on a baby?
I miss him.. What the hell did I get myself in to? I guess it will get better with time.
No. Just liquor. Time's no good.
She's not depressed. She's just sober. It's like the same thing.
my bedside table was not meant to hold this many beer bottles.
I wanna thank you for having such slutty friends growing up. Your a great little sister
Also, fighting a very strong urge to nickname your dick Whitey Bulger, at least for today.
Once two people had broken bones it had become a bulk hospital trip so we took the party bus
Don't worry that pussy is fresh, I'd brush my teeth with it.
Bren left me with a lovely parting gift. Newfouund alcoholism. I'm on the kitchen floor, hugging a bottle of vodka. It's my only friend now.
why is my forehead so bruised?
i found you outside knocking on the door with your head because you couldn't lift your arms.
its weird that my cat bites every fat chick i bring home. i repeat every fat chick, qhT KINDA FRIEND ARE YOU
Next time we include dessert condiments into our sex life we can fuck up my sheets. It's only fair.
Soooo I think my neighbor just saw me masturbating on my porch
Maybe I'm not hungover. Maybe I'm actually dying.
Randomize
