I have nothing to say, just wanted ur phone to vibrate
i dodnt think we hooked up bcause he actually texted me the next day
Of course I'm hard in the pics. If there's a chance that these pictures will cause a scandal later in my life I at least want my dick to look it's biggest
I made out with Jen. We were naked. I'm still gay. Forever
We make out exclusively when we're drunk. That's like a relationship for me, right?
Do what your heart wants. . .
My heart wants to rip his balls off and tie therm to his head using his penis
maybe these stereotypes wouldn't come up if you would stop taking body shots off another
You know what's worse than asking for the morning after pill? Asking for the morning after pill in a sketchy hospital in a foreign country where no one speaks English.
Well, somebody (me) put on reindeer antlers, crawled around on the floor, and meowed at people... So yeah, I'd say it was "one of those nights"
He was saying things like "cum for me like a good girl" and "put my entire python I like to call a dick in your mouth" .. Okay I might have changed that one a bit
I fucking love your mom. She's so drunk and fully functional. I aspire to be her one day.
We started a fund for a baby in a wine glass, I think we're pretty responsible.
One of the guys just came in and goes "i walked all the way home with a pumpkin". Night just got better.
You pee in parking lots....i drive home naked.....thats the american dream i was promised
Now all my porn is stored in my parents’ basement. It’s like a part of my soul is boxed up
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