note to self..putting cheap vodka in a bottle of grey goose does not make it taste better
He kept saying the best defense against a lion is to punch it in the throat.
I just packed a bowl in my room and use glad press n' seal to cover it so it wouldn't dump out in my pocket .
Technically this isn't a church so we could have been drinking this whole time.
The panties match.
I'll be right there.
He just did blow off my nipples. He's not serious about his girlfriend.
Oh well shit happens. This is my not worried face. This is also my still decently drunk face.
I walked into his room and he was naked with a half eaten pecan pie and a bottle of wine.
Romantic bubble bath turned into splash war. We can't be adults about anything.
I stuck a note to his door with my gum explaining why i couldn't spend the night. as i was walking away, he opened the door...i fell down and played dead. deffinitly didn't see me.
I wish! That ended in 2001 when we all got collectively band from the Settle Inn. As a group we are also band from social events at the zoo. It's impressive really.
This wine tastes amazing. It's like a fermented hug.
I just loudly threatened to kill a self checkout machine
Went to a club yesterday was dirty dancing with this guy, reached back to move my hair and punched him in the face.
ANTI-GAME
I am so proud to call you my friend
at one point, you reached into your purse, pulled out a tampon, and proceeded to rub it on your lips like chapstick... that drunk
Randomize
