ISS teacher has a tramp stamp.
Shotgun.
There are some college kids out at 4 in the morning dragging each other on a sled behind a bike. its too entertaining to call the cops
I don't think I have ever puked up that much free breakfast in my life...thank god for Nickle Beers.
The djing cat is back again. I think he just makes appearances when im shit drunk just to fuck with my mind.
I wonder if that one guy remembers you sticking salami to his forehead when he was passed out on new years eve.
I've started bribing my dorm's security guard with cookies so that he doesn't tell all the boys i'm hooking up with about each other.
I found the bottle of ketchup and sobe you tried to hide in the middle of the lawn last night
Dude, you passed out sitting straight up AND in mid sentence last night
He was so good, that I'm pretty sure he fucked his religion into me. P.S. I'm Jewish now.
I forgot to tell you, the medics put you in a wheel chair. ( I kept telling you to cat daddy) oh you also gave everyone high fives for speaking English.
He just got dropped off drinking a flask, sitting on the handlebars of a chinese delivery man's bike
Tonight's gonna be epic. Did he bring my noodles?
Drinking vodka straight from my water bottle because of the debate. I just need to forget.
just like fucking own it. stare that cop in the eye and just keep masturbating "yeah motherfucker Im high as shit and this feels great"
Yeah you were fine except for when you peed under the bar
I know she’s pissed I fucked her husband, but I didn’t know he was married until after I blew him at Legoland
Randomize
