Sex don't cost a thang now that you can buy trojans with meal points.
Amandyke just told me shes gonna make my tongue her cum rag. i'm borderline terrified
So we were in the middle of hooking up when he stopped me. I thought he was having a moral dilemma about the whole having a girlfriend thing. But no. He got down on all fours, butt naked, and started throwing up and farting simultaneously. I took it as my cue to leave.
the 24 hour champagne diet aint going so well
I found her in my pantry with her shirt off twerking...I tapped her on the shoulder and she said she was giving Chef Boyardee a show and to give her a minute...
Just wanted to say, I appreciate your bravery in having read receipts
Out of all the things you could eat off of my tits you choose lettuce? Thats so healthy. Yuck.
I'm gonna forget you just shared your personal blowjob aesthetic with me and move on
I need to just embrace dildos and cats and call it a life.
Did you really just reference your penis in a pep talk? I think I may love you more now.
Let's celebrate our freedom by getting high and doing stupid shit.
I just watched a porn called gay of thrones and I think I've reached a new low in my life
I'm not dealing with this wiskey dick shit, 2016 is the year of hard dicks
When we sit on the couch watching TV, she always cups her hand around my balls. Not sure if it's a sign of affection or a "power play" to remind me just how vulnerable I am if she chooses to make an aggressive squeeze.
Last night I actually told him I came with a washer and dryer
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