I just shaved my legs while pooping. classy or trashy?
talent.
Stop being a whore!!! Everyone can see!!!!
In an effort to go green, I just used rainwater to fill my bong.
dude there's automatic no homos on brad Pitt and Leonardo dicaprio. Everyone knows that
just added God to my list of friends who can only see my limited profile on facebook. its such a relief to know that He can't watch me fuck up my life anymore.
God gave him joint rollers for hands
I deem it safe for us to drink together again.
They dropped the charges?
Yeppers. Come drink beers.
Cock is NEVER random. You may quote me on that.
If I have to masturbate more than twice a week you fail as a fuck buddy. Just so you know...................you failed
The band last night was really good
That was definitely karaoke. Guess that answers my follow up question on how drunk you were.
That makes 14 Xmas cards already! Middle aged people are really nice to their dealers.
I woke up in the basement of a pizza restaurant... I would say the tequila hit me pretty hard.
Listen, I booty called my boss last night from the company phone. I may need to brush up my resume.
You spent the entire night trying to catch pigeons and hugged a homeless guy and then gave him a pregnancy test.
First walk of shame in 18 years. Divorce is going well.
Randomize
