have you ever wondered what it would feel like to stick those coneheads in your vaj
omg every time its on
question: does your pee smell like mojitos at all?
How do you get a cum stain out of a trampoline?
when your english prof writes "this was a real good paper" on your essay, you know you're at the wrong college
Dude, I don't care how big her tits are. I have to dump her. She shit in my shower.
Ps, did you know if you google "drunk jenga", you're the first image that shows up?
My public calorie counter app is pretty much just a cry for help.
Boats looked like robot pelicans and time was slow and now im on wipe out
Nah, just ran around, pinned random men to walls, bit their lips of and booked it.
True love: he brought me a margarita while I was n the shower. He's a keeper.
We just took an Eskimo family picture.. It's pretty cute honestly
You don't know how small your school is until you know everyone in the ER on a Friday night.
I just need some of your time and all of your body.
Let's make this a nightly thing. You'll explain the Watergate scandal like you're telling me a bedtime story while I eat popcorn high as fuck
sorry about your sharpie. alex wanted to shave the left side of his body so he had me draw a line over him with a ruler
Randomize
