Sorry you had to hear me puke. I didn't know I called you. Was it graceful?
all adderall does is make me the grand champion of using wikipedia.
My 54 year old father just sent me a YouTube link on my school email titled "Walrus sucks his own dick" and then wrote in the email "I wish I were a walrus". What the fuck is wrong with my family?
Ya well here is the deal with last night, it was the Biggest shit show we have ever co-stared in.
it went ok. then he slept in a parking lot and took me out for a picnic the next day. boys are confusing.
My new year's resolution was to squirt this year. I only have four months left. Help.
multitasking: i'm now sitting up and smoking my joint.
A milkman. But instead of milk I'm delivering marijuana. And instead of a milk truck it's an armored car.
You're a weed delivery man, in an armored car?
Sorry. Not doing life today. Love to. But can't.
Well I took a spicy wing shit in a field this morning.
I'm trying to cause a divorce, your hooking up with a felon, I think we need Jesus.
lets face it, we have a liquor cabinet with a designated chocolate shelf
He said watch this and then went and tripped into a group of 40 year old women, now he's leaving the club with them.
Opening my shipments of mascara and nipple pasties this morning like a boss bitch
Im drunk taking pregnancy tests with this really hot girl...i dont know what is happening
Randomize
