Maybe I'll tuck it in and pretend to be a woman pretending to be a man that is attracted to women that are attracted to women who look like men
finally nailed that neighbor chick. hopefully i can get her wireless password now. free internet trumps moral standards any day
so my car got towed last night. I didnt know it cost 118 dollars to have a college experience
Too tired to do the dishes so I made mac and cheese in a teapot. There's still some left if you want some...
He had in his status he loved beating off and tagged his wife. another reason facebook should be for college.
You showed the cops outside of the bar your boobs and then decided to go apologize to them. They admitted that the reason they hung out there was because of girls like you.
Well, I can mark "throwing up in a daycare bathroom due to a hangover" off my bucket list.
I just saw a guy in a hazmat suit riding a tractor.
Honestly I am too high to watch videos of you jerking off right now
the night literally screamed "cock and ball torture"
I was supposed to go on a date tonight but I cancelled because I found out the Lizzie McGuire movie is on Netflix.
One of my pillows is missing but it's cool because there is a beef stick.
Just letting you know that I just spent 11 dollars on a car wash... Because you had sex in my car.
Hahah I’ve never had someone stop me mid-coitus to tell me how amazing I am. Def ego boost.
The cat likes watching me spank Michael. I don’t know how to feel about this.
Randomize
