Seriously, stop being so datable w your movie/song prefs
my dad told me i had to spend my money wisely..so i spent the money he gave me for a desk chair on weed. ill be so high i wont even notice its gone
OMG! Someone dumped chocolate soft-serve in the bathroom! Dibs!
sober me hid the cigs from drunk me. sober me is a tricky bitch.
Andrew is trying to convince me that i took your virginity. Please tell me he is lying.
define virginity.
NEW RULE: NO INNAPROPRIATE CHOICES THAT INVOLVE GUNS. I LIKE IT. WRITE THAT DOWN.
You've never even broken a bone. You singlehandedly disprove natural selection
We weren't even through customs yet, and we got offered weed. You would love Jamaica.
The sun and I are not on speaking terms this morning
I just love it. It's warm and soft and the rest of the world is so mean. My bed would never be mean to me
What's Spanish for "I shouldn't have worn these underwear to work?"
I gave the bike taxi guy a blowjob because I didn't have any cash. College.
He's getting so into these sexts, I hate to tell him I'm fully clothes, watching Bring It On and eating chips and salsa.
you gave me money for the cab and then walked home..
Thanks for leaving me with drunk gabby
Hahahaha why what's happening?
She's sending me morse code through the wall....typical
Randomize
