"Party in the USA" was played at church youth group last night. It was like everything I enjoy hating was aligning against me.
He had an itunes playlist named "def not Glee season 1" which contained all of Glee season 1
I like how my family gatherings are basically an ugly sweater party just with better beer and wine...
i feel sorry for the hotel staff that makes the bed after we have sex
my purse only fit my wallet or the martini shaker. it wasnt even a question of which i was bringing.
Found my phone laying in a snow angel outside my apt this morning.
At some point tonight the bad ideas in my head became bad decisions that happened outside my head
Why do i feel like Captain Hook just gave me a pap smear?
The little girl I babysit saw pink plastic shot glasses in my car and asked what they were for and I told her they were princess teacups.
Oh if we have sex in public no one will frown upon it. They will stand and cheer for it
why is there blood on my car? and are we still friends?
The holidays are too long. I always run out of adderall before I run out of family. you got any left?
Sending out old nude selfies with the message "#tbt"
It's beautiful and huge. Like a dinosaur.
She's sent me the same nudes using the same gestures and positions... It's like she has a template for her sluty-ness
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