Forget about socially acceptable. Make me happy instead
everytime someone famous vagina shows up in pics, i have to go check my own vagina to make sure mine dont look all wrinkledy and flabby like that....i want my lips plump and succulent
I proposed and she said yes man.
You realize the irony of surrendering on independence day, right?
The cops just drove by on their loudspeaker going DO NOT DRINK THE WATAHH
I love boston
sorry we overslept. have a good day at work. p.s. thanks for making it feel like my vagina got hit by a train.
Nothing ruins a good sext like too many emoticons
Day 5 without masturbation. Fat chicks are back on the table
I may only be a second year med student but I feel very confident in calling that a micropenis.
its not a party unless mikie exposes himself
We need to get sombreros so I can give them to strippers.
I just wanted to give you a heads up. There's a crab in the kitchen. He doesn't have a name yet. We are just calling him crab for now. Oh! and we have memosas!
The only way I can describe the noise he makes when he has an orgasm: dying walrus.
I puked walking onto the plane. How do you think my post-Birthday hangover went?
it's like that time i was drunk at relay for life. but with balloon animals...
Sexting gets boring after a while. I'm eating a sandwich right now and googling 'sexting ideas' and just copy/pasting lines.
It's a good sandwich though.
Randomize
