I seriously wish I was FB friends with her
just upgraded from jello shots to jello bowls blacking out just got that much more delicious
yeah well we're currently on the phone and she's telling me about how much she misses me and all this shit and i muted myself and i'm watching porn.
the bouncer made me realize that puking in line does not get you in any faster
other girls like to lick balls but none of them live for it like u do
I wish I could put booze in boobs and store it for later. I wouldn't need a flask. For $7000, they should do amazing things like that.
i remember you telling me to take a shower, brush my teeth, go get back in bed w her, and "just do what i was born to do." and as soon as i stopped yacking i did just that. you saved my birthday.
The chips are stabbing my teeth, and I can feel the muscle under my mouth contracting.
do you think they make 'sorry for walking in on you drunkenly jacking of to a picture of me' cards?
it's graduation. he's gonna get congratulations slash emotional i cant believe youre leaving me sex.
Haha at least the one I have like that you can't tell we are completely drunk and you're about to kick a glass out of my hand in a fit of joy over pizza.
Almost stopped showering halfway through to go get food
I JUST WANT TO HAVE AWKWARD SEXUAL EXPERIENCES WITH HIM.
yes we're having sex but I'm texting you...so what does that tell you?
She is beauty she is grace
she’s masturbsting in front of an open window while drunk af 9am
i thought you had class
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