the bitch is dead man
YOUR DOG DIED?
no i meant my mom has passed out .. so i'll be over soon.
Let's go to weight watchers and eat in front of them.
My mom just asked me if I was gay in front of my gf
We took up a collection and paid her $50 to eat a piece of meat. Vegetarian morals trumped once again by cash.
basically at this point ill snort whatever you put in front of me and just hope
thank you TLC waking up to a water birth on tv really put the cherry on top of my hangover...
Why did 20 jello shots in a row sound like a good idea last night?
I actually didn't mind her sub-par blowjob skills.. It took me back to a time when skipping class was noticed, and my liver didn't look like a worn out shoe
He might have if you were a little more subtle about your feelings instead of telling everyone multiple times how much you wanted his dick
My Yoga instructor is playing the music from 'Requiem for a Dream' it makes me very reluctant to put my ass in the air
I guess, all I remember was giving you road head the whole way there so you wouldn't fall asleep.
You guys had reggaeton music playing while dry humping? Definition of romance.
Can you please come in my room and pour water in my mouth? Too hungover to move. btw who is this guy in my bed? Can't see his face. Cute?
Today I saw someone riding a horse on the sidewalk by aldi when I went to walmart. Old town road was playing on the radio. It was perfect.
Was cussing out our DD when one of the strippers takes him backstage. WTF
They call him magic hands is all I know.
Somethings are best left a mystery
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