this kid just came up to me and asked me if i wanted to play truth or aids with him and his friends. i'm in
I know its time to do laundry... i cant even find a dirty sock to wear because they all have jizz in them
i wanted to be an indian when i was a child. apparently you cannot grow up to be an indian.
the jail released me with 39 mardi gras beads. I need details.
He proposed that we "bone". I've completely given up on boys.
If I die and they 'assume' it's natural causes, just go with it.
Champagne is a vitamin, right?
WHITE RUSSIAN WEDNESDAY. TELL YOUR CO WORKERS. INVITE QND PREPARE
Why are you speaking in third person?
Because I'm so hungover that I don't even want to be myself anymore.
either i huffed spraypaint or ate out that makeup artist. you decide.
"Like what guy would respond to 'let's fuck. I've got bagels'??"
I had forgotten what new underwear feels like. It's as if angels descended from heaven for the sole purpose of supporting my junk.
I'd love you more if you were covered in hot cheetos
I'm like a hairless cat ready to be ravished
Atleast we had sex on the couch before your ex took it from you
Randomize
